When do you stop being loyal to people? do you wait, like I do, until it is so obvious that you are not required anymore? do you still, like I do, stay anyway and keep being loyal to people who clearly no longer wish to be apart of your life?
There is trust and there is being taken advantage of. where does one end and the other begin. It is a beautiful thing to show trust and to be loyal to others, but sometimes when that trust and loyalty is not returned it makes us feel less than.
For those of us prone to depression and low self esteem, things like this when they happen can be devastating. The trust we so freely give is thrown back in our faces with nothing more than a fleeting thought. We automatically think, what have I done?, where did I go wrong, why don’t they like me anymore? All of which is technically not our problem to worry about.
Allowing thoughts like these and others similar to not affect us is a huge task. something like climbing a mountain when you have no idea where the top is. To let is all just slip away and find the someone’s or something’s that resonate better with us is hard when all you do is think what is wrong with me?
What I have done over the last few weeks when I have felt abandoned and left out is to step back. Think about what is going on, what is there I can learn from this? Why am I concentrating on what I don’t want? What do I want?
Stepping back has allowed me to come to terms with what is going on around me. Not all of it is my concern, not all of it is to do with me. Yet I made it my business and allowed it to affect me in ways that I thought I had surpassed many times before. Thinking I am moving forward and getting the hang of this thing called life, only to slip back at the smallest doubt.
Sitting and moping only makes the mountain grow taller and stops me from doing what I want to do and what I would like to do. Instead of sitting and thinking why, this week I have decided I don’t care why! I will do what makes me feel good, what makes me feel happy and what makes my life better.
What I do is no ones business but mine and what other people think about that and how they choose to respond to that is not my business. I am getting on with this living business, making small steps forward and recognising much more quickly when things are going pear shaped.
I look in the mirror and tell myself, I have a lot to offer, I have things I wish to share with the world, I am important in my own way, I am beautiful in my own way and I will no longer allow others to take that away from me.
In the end my reality is what I make it. What I choose to see, have and do is not necessarily what others think is right for me, but it is not their choice, it is mine. I choose to be me. I choose to step out of line and begin living the way I choose to live. If some don’t like that, then that’s fine, bye bye, nice knowing you 🙂 And that I am finally fine with too.
We are here to live our own lives, not the life others choose for us. Remember that and make choices that make you feel good and make you feel happy. When I get to the end of this life I want to be happy that I have helped others but also that I was me, authentically me.
From now on, be you, as only you can be.