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One Step Forward Two Steps Back


Another week another conundrum to sort through. My financial situation improved a little finally in the last week, with a payment from my superannuation company. Income protection which I had never really thought about before has finally managed to come through. Now the problems begin. I am currently on a newstart payment from Centrelink. I have applied for a disability pension for which I finally have an appointment tomorrow. The superannuation company has also approved the total permanent disability claim but that does not necessarily mean that Centrelink will do the same.

While I do not know what will happen with the TPD claim, it has to go back to the superannuation company for final approval, the income protection payment causes another problem. As I have been on the newstart payment since late December, I will now owe them a debt for overpayment. At the same time they will owe me a debt for backpayment for the disability pension if and when it goes through. So to my mind they should both even each other out.

The problem is that neither company will make it that easy. I am worried that the stress that will now come will overshadow the last 6 months of stress, worry and fear. There will be a period of back and forth as each changes their payments to cover the over payment and what the other is paying me.

At this moment in time I would give anything to have my health and my independence back. Having to rely on a government payment for the last 5 months, that didn’t even cover my rent, has severely eroded my confidence and my ability to see a future. I cannot support myself now and the chances of being employed are very low. I doubt there is a company out there that will employ someone with an incurable disease that has health issues that do not stand up to a full days work.

My life as of now consists of constant pain, an ever evolving array of drugs that do little to help my condition and do even more damage to other organs in my body. Without the drugs at the moment I cannot move, with them I am destroying other parts of my body that will lead to an ongoing cycle of disease and pain with no hope in sight.

There has to be a better way. I had an appointment with the Infectious disease people at the local hospital who wanted me to go on more drugs for 9 months because of the chance of the drugs I am on and others further down the line activating another disease. If I take them I am doing more damage to my body if I don’t I risk another disease. It is a no win situation. I decided against the 9 months of drugs because I do not see the point in stopping one thing while activating another.

So I have been doing a lot of my own research into rheumatoid arthritis and its causes and the drugs that I am currently on and those that the doctors assume I will take later on. I have decided that a more natural way is the way to go. With the doctors I have no chance of a cure only containment and so in order to rid myself of this horrible disease I am going to take matters into my own hands.

While I research and adapt myself and my diet to work towards a better outcome I will still take the tablets I am on, but no more than that. I have already decided that I will not take them beyond the end of this year. The pain of this disease is undeniably horrible but it is much better than the odds of the chemicals I now take causing cancer and liver damage.

I am convinced that my diet, or rather lack of healthy eating over the years has along with a case of glandular fever in the early nineties has been a basis for what now ails me. Glandular fever is an infection caused by the epstein barr virus. A nasty virus that from my research continues to live on in your body long after you assume it has gone.

This may sit in your body and do no harm for the rest of your life but can be retriggered again with a lot of stress and anxiety. The pain of rheumatoid arthritis started for me during a time almost 2 years ago when I was diagnosed with a possible cancer of the cervix, uterus or ovaries. The stress and fear that I went through over almost 6 months of testing and surgeries did a lot to undermine my emotional wellbeing. In the end it was discovered after a full hysterectomy that there was never any cancer in the first place and it was just a pathology mistake.

Not long after the final surgery the pain began, slowly at first, one hip then my feet and onwards until my whole body was in constant pain. I made the assumption that it was sciatica and did not seek any treatment other than chiropractic and osteopathic. Neither of which eased my pain. After living on codeine for 9 months and finally being told by my employer to go home and not come back until I was 100% healthy, did I finally decide that I needed to sort this out.

There was some sort of relief after the diagnosis of RA was returned but still left me with not much of a life to speak of, only pain and stress and anxiety. I am firmly convinced that this all triggered the virus to begin its destruction of my health again. So in the simple language of one not trained in medicine, in order to rid myself of my health problems the epstein barr virus must be dealt with first.

As my digestive system begins to work more efficiently my body will respond with more and more healing. Because of the drugs I am currently on, which supress the immune system, my body cannot help itself as efficiently as it normally could. So my first step is to heal my digestive system and focus on only filling my body with that which is good for it.

No more processed foods, only healthy fruits and vegetables to cleanse and clear my system, in order to allow it to fight the virus that is trying to destroy me. From my research so far it does not seem that there is a lot of medical people who will agree. If it cannot be fixed by pill or surgery then they deny that it can be cured. So alternative methods are becoming much more interesting and informative.

I started reading books by Anthony William, the Medical Medium. The more I read the more I sat there nodding my head. It made so much more sense than anything else I had found. So tomorrow will be day one of the protocol he suggests to clear my body and begin to heal. This is not just any diet, this is for me, the difference between life and death. I have no wish to live this way any longer and so I will begin a new life with the expectation of less toxic drugs and a more healthful existence.

Margaret ❤

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