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Living The Lessons

The days seem to be flying at the moment. Almost half way through the year and the more I think about it, the more I feel that I have wasted so much time. The plans that were made at the end of the previous year all fell by the wayside quite quickly.

I had so many dreams and goals for this year. Especially after the year from hell that was 2016. Yet 2017 which promised a new beginning and a fresh new start, continued the same energy of last year. The more I tried to plan the more things went down hill.

Before you know it, the year is half way through and nothing has been achieved. I feel as if I have spent an enormous amount of time doing nothing and then feeling regret for letting this time slip away. Now is the time for me, and anyone else feeling the same way, to make a concerted effort to spend the rest of this year fully engaged in living in a more authentic way.

I find for myself if I decide that I am going to do something that I need to do it immediately. Otherwise it ends up being put on the back burner, along with so many other thoughts, dreams and goals. I am a list maker. I find myself lost for hours when I write lists of what to do, where to go, what to buy.

I recently cleaned out a chest in my room that was full of lined exercise books. These books were filled with list after list of my hopes and dreams, none of which came to fruition. All left to gather dust in a dark place. My habits seem to push me into this dark place where I am allowed to dream but not allowed to bring these dreams to life.

So how do you change the habits that have been with you for a lifetime? No matter what you read or who you ask, it is not a simple thing to release these habits and change your life in a quick and easy way. It takes discipline to change a habit. It takes repetition to change a habit.

After everything that has happened in the last two years, I now have an opportunity to make these changes. Knowing where to start is a problem though. I am so stuck in my ways that even now that I no longer can work, I still wake at the same time of the morning, I still shower as if I am preparing to go to work. Then I find myself sitting at the computer and getting lost in whatever I decide to look at.

Before I know it, time has slipped by and it is dinner time, and another day has been wasted. The first thing I need to do is to understand that I am not and have not wasted this time. I have spent so much of the last two years in pain that my body requires this slowing down. I need to adapt to how my life will be from this moment on. I can no longer do what I have always done.

The physical limitations have sapped my energy and the resulting frustration makes me give up at times. Now though as I find different ways to do the things I need and want to do, I tend to push myself a bit more. There is always a way to do something and if there is a way I will find it. I refuse to live the rest of my life missing out on the things I have always loved to do and the things that that I have always wanted to do.

If anything, this disease has taught me to find a new way of living, a way that very clearly I needed to understand. I fought against this for so long, but now as I make the changes needed in order to live, I have come to understand that all is not lost. I can still have the life I have always wanted, I just need to go about it in a different way.

This has been a huge lesson for me. From the pain to the financial problems to the everyday physical limitations, all this has taught me that there is a way and there always will be a way. You just have to find what suits you and how you can arrange things so you don’t feel like you are missing out on something.

As my life falls into place in a new way I look forward to the new opportunities that this disease will bring to me. It has served to push me out of my comfort zone and out of my habitual brain dead life. My hope is that the rest of this life is spent discovering new ways of being and new things to learn.

My time of giving up is over and now as I work towards making the changes that are so overdue in my life, I intend to take each step slowly and with the knowledge that I am giving myself the absolute best chance of a beautiful life.

I wish you all good living, good learning and good loving. Take a chance, make a change and look forward, no matter what, to the rest of your incredible life.

Margaret ❤

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Feeling The Feelings

Today is the end of the third week of my treatment for rheumatoid arthritis. The new weekly tablet seems not to be working yet, but I was told that it would take at least four weeks. So I am very grateful that I am still taking steroids for the moment. Yesterday I almost forgot to take the steroid tablets, that’s how good I felt. Today I am a little sore. More than likely tried to do a little too much yesterday.

I also went to bed the night before, the night of the full moon, with the intention of feeling better and improving my health. It seems to have worked. I asked for myself to be cleared of negative energy and then went to sleep. I do feel somewhat more positive than I have for a while. Although the tablets are keeping some of the pain at bay for now, I still feel that I have turned a corner.

Intention has always been the most important part of any type of manifestation. Without it you are doomed to failure. If you cannot get your mind and heart into the right space, then no amount of wishing and hoping will bring you what you desire. Keeping your energy in the right frequency is at times, more difficult than it seems.

It can only take one small problem to have everything fall down around you. In order to keep my energy at a higher level than it has been for quite some time, I spent some time listening to some chakra clearing meditations and music in various frequencies. The frequencies I chose were 417 Hz to clear the negative energy of my space, followed by 528Hz to raise the vibration and create a more relaxed feeling in my home.

It is only when I make the effort to listen to music that I remember how it makes me feel and what it does to my body and my space. I tend to not find the time to do many things that are good for me and listening to music always has an amazing affect on me. I must make more of an effort to do the things that make me happy.

When you are happy things fall more easily into place. So the more you can do to keep that feeling, the happier you will be and the better your life will become. We all have off days, those times where things seem to fall apart but if you keep your focus on how you want to feel rather than how you are feeling, then your vibration  will elevate and make the space around you softer and more gentle.

Always remember that you are in control of how you feel. There is no one that can make you feel anything unless you allow it. When we are down and things fall apart, it is because we have allowed our energy to drop and let those around us have more control of our feelings. Take back control of your life. Let your feelings become the focus of your life.

Use the tools around you, such as music, poetry, and meditation to keep you at a place you want to be. Do not deny yourself the small pleasures in life. These are the things that make your life special. You may not have millions of dollars to spend on achieving your every dream, but the things you can do to make your space happier do not need to cost the earth to achieve.

Don’t put off until you have the money. Don’t put off until you are in the mood. Don’t put off until someone gives you permission. Do it now. Allow it now in your life, and most of all feel it now.

Margaret ❤

 

 

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Moving Into Power

Well the time has come my friends for action. No longer can we sit and wait for life to come to us. Now we must move forward and take part in the life that we so often dream about, yet rarely do anything to achieve.

What action must we take? One step, one movement, one little thought that urges us to make a move in the right direction is all it takes. Once you make that small adjustment, then life falls into place quite easily. The only problem then is allowing our egos to take control and try to force things in a certain way.

What occurs then is blockages, lots of blockages. Then the life we are aiming for gets pushed further and further away, and we ask ourselves what are we doing wrong? The more we allow our ego to control the more we push it all so far away that we end up further away than we were in the first place.

So now we have to deal with the ego issues as well as try and get back on track and heading for our dream life again. You can see why so many give up. To make all that effort to end up back where we were and having to start again can be a hard thing to understand, even for those who are strong enough and those who actually understand what they are doing. Yet we seem powerless to do anything about it.

The old saying two steps forward and one back becomes one step forward and two back, and over time we gradually lose the excitement and the focus and then give up. Making the excuse that it wasn’t what we really wanted, it wasn’t what Source or God or the Universe had in store for us.

I am calling bullshit! For too long have I and others lived this way, for too long have we allowed our power to be stripped from us, for too long have we sat back and just accepted. No more, this has to stop. We are powerful beings, we came here with a plan. Some live their plan easily, some get so totally engrossed in the physicality of human life that they forget and end up living the monotonous daily grind, asleep in the worst of ways and yet not able to drag themselves from the slumber.

Then there are those of us who know we are here for a reason. Again two groups of beings, those who know yet cannot do and be and those that know and do and become all that they have always known they were capable of. Which group do you fall into? Are you asleep? Are you awakening to the magnificence of this incarnation? Are you itching to do what you know in your heart is just out of reach?

How much do you want to change your life? How much do you want to allow your power to rise and become the catalyst for something wonderful, something honest and true? Something that will change the very fabric of your being. How much do you want to be you?

There is a way, there is always a way. It takes courage to tread upon this path and allow yourself to become all you have always been. Too many of us feel fear when we think of our own personal power. What if we are successful, what if we are capable, what if we are the ones we have looked outside for? You have all you need, you always have.

You do not need anything else, in fact to achieve all you wish to achieve you must give things up. Fear, terror, shame, insecurity, feelings of unworthiness, all these must be discarded. To step into wholeness you must leave behind the negative thoughts and ideas. To step into your power you must accept that you have that power.

To see yourself as anything less than perfection is doing yourself an injustice. Who you are comes from within, to become who you are you must release all ideas of who and what you are that do not come from you. Those who speak ill of you, those who are jealous of what you do and say and are, speak from fear. They are not ready to believe that they too are a powerful eternal spiritual being. They stay small in their own negative beliefs and reflect these thoughts and ideas onto the people that scare them. They fear the power that lies within them.

Personal power is not something to be afraid of, it is a beautiful experience of who you truly are and now it is up to you to allow that person the freedom to be. Release your fear. Stand up now for it is time for humanity to take another step forward. We have lived small for far too many generations, the energy is changing. What before seemed to be an ego expression has now become the truth of who we really are.

Let the fear go, move into your power and begin to live the life that you, and all around you have dared to dream of for so long.

Margaret ❤

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Breaking Through The Blockages

Three weeks into the new year and I find myself procrastinating again. I feel as if I am on the verge on a breakthrough, yet something is holding me back. I have plans, I have thoughts and ideas in my mind and in my heart but still it does not seem the right thing to do.

I am perplexed at the way my mind is working at this moment. I know what I need to do, I have it all ready to work on. The blockage that I am faced with at this moment seems larger than it should. Now whether this blockage is just me being me or whether there is something else on the horizon is the number one question.

I know what I am like. I see how I work, I completely understand how I work, but yet, I do not feel totally comfortable with my plans. Old beliefs and barriers keep reappearing, making it all the more harder to make decisions.

The main obstacle in my thinking is about abundance. I come from a family where my parents worked hard to get what they wanted. I never went without while I was a child. It has only been as I have grown older than things turned pear shaped. Do I expect too much? Do I expect too little?

Are my plans something that will come so easily that I do not feel worthy of it? Do I still, although I have tried not too, believe that only from working my butt off will I ever amount to anything. Why am I so scared of being successful, of having the home I want, of having money to buy and do whatever I want? Why do I feel that getting things easily is cheating? Is playing the victim and the oh poor me card so much more desirable?

One way or another I am going to have to find something that just tips the edge my way. Something that shows me without doubt that I am worthy of the life I wish to live. Something that shows me that my dreams are not all fantasy. My one step forward seems to have landed in a block of concrete from which I can not move.

Old patterns of behaviour, old memories, old failures all come flooding back when I think I am ready to move on. Pushing them back down inside has become such a chore and not an efficient one at that. If anything, this year has shown me that it is different and so I must face these tests with a new thought process.

The comfort zone has become somewhat of a prison, and one from which I must find an escape route. The old ways no longer work, they keep the walls firmly in place and stronger than ever. Now is the time to make the changes that I have needed and asked for, for so long.

I have proved over and over that the law of attraction works. Whatever I have asked for I have always received. It is time to make those requests more positive. To ask for what I want instead of mulling over past hurts and injustices. To focus on the life I want not the life I wish to run away from. Practice they say, makes perfect, and so with that in mind spending more time living in the now, living as if, and planning for the inevitable changes must become a priority.

My procrastination in the past has led to the universe forcing the much needed changes upon me. Not always in the way that has led to improvement and growth. Now I must push for those changes myself. Not totally in control of them, yet steering the ship more evenly than before.

Another step forward, although not in a physical sense but more in a mind set way has to be an improvement from standing still. And so, onwards again, I move that little bit closer to where I aim to be. As my mind and heart adjusts to the thoughts of being worthy and valuable, so my life moves in that direction. I have complete faith that this time the changes will make a difference.

And that faith, for me, is one giant leap forward.

Margaret ❤

 

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A New Day Has Dawned

Memories and ponderings flash through my mind, hoping and wishing for a new life divine.

Allowing the sadness its time in the light, letting it go and making it right.

Feeling so low and down on my luck, trying to fight and get out of the muck.

Digging so deeply down deep within, hoping and praying something begins.

Strength and power I have on my side, time to buckle up and go along with the ride.

Action and intent flow through my mind, leaving all the badness way back behind.

A new life’s begun one foot through the door, gather up courage and take one more.

Once on my way a pattern is formed, taking more steps a new day has dawned.

Margaret ❤

 

 

 

 

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Letting Go Of The Past

Another Christmas has come and gone and while for me it would have to have been the worst one ever, I hope that everyone else has had a beautiful time with family and friends.

I spent the morning alone thinking about what has happened in my life over the last two years. While a lot has been just horrible, a lot has been a blessing. I thought about the lessons I had learned and the light within the dark times and what I am grateful for.

I learned that the work colleagues I spent the most time with over the last ten years were not as they appeared. It may have taken me a very long time, but I finally see the truth of who they were. What I did, I did because I cared, about my job, about the business. What was never returned was loyalty and support. The bullying, the abuse and just the lack of respect hit me hard and when I was at my lowest they hit me even harder. But I learned that I trust too much.

Now, anyone I come into contact with will have to earn my trust, it will not be given so easily. I will never again allow someone to make me feel less than, to make me feel as though I am not good enough, not working hard enough. There will be a distinct separation between my work life and my private life. There will be no socializing with employers and employees. There will be no speaking of personal matters. I will be professional and keep to myself.

At first I blamed myself, that I allowed it to happen. I did allow it, but it was not my fault. I did not ask to be used abused and bullied. The lesson I have learned is to be able to see what happened and ensure that it never again happens. There will be a wall placed and only those who earn my trust will be allowed behind that wall. It will not under any circumstances include work colleagues. That special place in my heart is reserved for family and friends that stand by me, no matter what.

I finally let go of my old job. I ran the Facebook page, I deleted myself as admin and unliked the page. I removed all those in my phone contacts connected with it. I threw out my uniform and unfriended the boss. It felt like a release, the last step in letting go of ten years of my life that had highs and many lows. Now it is all released and this writing finishes it.

Ultimately I do understand that the wall I place will come down. As I grow stronger and learn to protect myself and put in place guidelines for interaction with other people, then the walls will come down. I know eventually I will have the strength to again trust, but it will take time.

I also learned that I am not as strong as I thought. But, in understanding that my strength returned and gave me the reason to keep going. I am going to the Doctors again this week to find out once and for all what is causing the pain I still feel constantly, day by day. In order to move forward fully I have to release whatever is keeping that pain close. I know I will uncover it and when I do, nothing will stop me from living the life I have longed for.

I learned that I now have the freedom to do what I have always wanted to do. I have blocked it for so long that it took a major reorganization of my life for it to come about. Although it has not been pleasant, it was needed. It has been the only way for me to actually take notice of what life had intended for me. When you ignore the signs, life has a way of kicking your butt onto the right path.

This last week of 2016 will be spent releasing as much baggage, physical, mental and emotional as I can. So then as 2017 begins I will be ready to take on the challenges of beginning that new life. I am looking forward to starting afresh. One part of my life has now ended and the new awaits. As much as I have been fearful over the last few months, there is also an excitement. Wondering what to expect, what is coming and where I will be at the end of 2017.

I have plans for the new year. From expanding my blog and writing more, to creating a course and book on potential. Which I will be living as I write. To creating an email list, a new Facebook group and page, as well as expanding my Crystal Path To Spirit page. I have had this page for over three years now and have not as yet done much with it. I intend to change that in 2017.

I am aiming to direct my life towards where I want to be, not where others choose to push me. I intend to manage my life my way, to take control and push myself to achieve all that I have dreamed of. My health, my finances and my work will all come under scrutiny in the new year. All is due for change and all must change in order to not repeat the last 9 year cycle. This new cycle is one that I have longed for, one that has been inching closer and closer with every dream shattered, every ache and pain and every thought of failure.

As I release 2016 and let the past retreat, I expect and welcome new opportunity, new goals, new challenges and new life. I have lived the same way for so long, and now that is obsolete. The new beckons and with it inspiration and hope.

Onward to a new era, I stand at the precipice of a brand new life, and welcome it with open arms.

Margaret ❤

 

 

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Towards The Years End

So it seems Christmas is upon us. Such a beautiful time of the year for many but this year like so many others I am struggling. For the first time in my 56 years I am bypassing Christmas. Things have not worked out the way I assumed they would this year. It has been a very tough and challenging year to say the least.

I know there is a lesson in here somewhere, but at the moment I am struggling to see it. For many of us, this year, a universal 9 year has been one of struggle, oppression, pain, anger and endings. To say that many of us are looking forward to a new start next year, is an understatement.

I have let go of so much this year and allowed some to slip from my fingers. I know it is all for the best, but sometimes it is hard to see the blessing amongst it all. Eventually it will all settle down, and as the new universal 1 year brings in fresh energy, we will all rise above our problems and begin to make the changes and alterations needed to make the next 9 year cycle one of love, peace and abundance.

Getting to that beginning though will be a hard journey, even though it is only a few more days, it is going to be the longest time of the year. Surrounded by negative energy and feelings of helplessness only brings it down even further. No matter how many people tell me to have faith and things will work out, they are not the ones wondering how they will pay their rent or what have I got in my house that I can sell to pay the bills. It is hard to see the sunshine when you are among the storm clouds.

Faith is something that I am trying so very hard to have but everyday something else happens that hits me fair and square in the face and lets me know in no uncertain way, that nope not finished with you yet.

I am one of those people who always leave important things to the last minute. My faith allowed me to be able to wait and I had an unwavering knowledge that it would all be okay and it was. This time however there are more lessons to learn and my last minute has come and gone, with no rescue in sight.

The more faith I have the better I feel, and my body responds by feeling better. When I am too stressed however, then the pain comes back in a different part of my body. Currently my middle back. It seems too hard and painful to take a deep breath, so I move about gingerly trying to get it all to relax. The other day it was my arm. I moved something I shouldn’t have and ended up with pain so severe that I almost called an ambulance.

The connection between pain and thoughts and feelings and my energy is very clear. In order to release myself permanently of this pain, I have to release all the negativity and stress that is currently running my life. So stuck between a rock and a hard place, I have no idea which way to go. To release the stress and worry requires money at the least, a job at best.

It’s funny, I am in a group on Facebook all about manifesting. I read the stories of people who miraculously have what they need come to them just in the nick of time and wonder what am I doing wrong, because it doesn’t work for me. Some have money just appear for them on the ground in front of them, some have cheques arrive unexpectedly in the mail. Tried the cheque thing, didn’t work. At least no bills have arrived though. I go for a walk to help my leg heal more and cannot even find five cents on the path.

Maybe I am allergic to money?

The common theme for all those who have manifested their rescue package is the same, have faith and what you need will appear. What if it doesn’t?, and I know it doesn’t for a lot of people. There are people in my area living in their cars because either deep down they only expect to be able to have that or because it is a part of their journey in this lifetime. I have even decided that I must be cursed in some way, or the universe is playing a big joke on me. Let her get so close to succeeding then we will pull the chair out from under her again. That is so much fun….not!

In the end, I do not know how it will happen but I know it will happen. Things will work out, they always do, it’s just taking a little longer this time. All the signs are around me for success and prosperity and abundance, I am just not seeing them clearly or pushing them away.

I know what happens outside of me is caused by what happens within me. All this is teaching me a huge lesson in accepting help. Something which is very hard for me to do. I have always been the one to help, regardless of whether I could afford the time or money to do so. Now I am in the position of having to ask for help and it is very unsettling, a very strange and odd feeling. I am having a hard time accepting it, but until I do then this lesson will not end.

I will make the best of Christmas this year and plan on making next Christmas one to remember. As long as I see my boys and my parents, then Christmas is a success. This year will be one of who is there rather than who got what.

As this year closes out, remember to send out positive energy. There are many of us who need that little boost just to remind us we are loved and needed. There are many all over the world who have absolutely nothing and no way to change that. While I and others may lament our own failures and lack, putting it all into context with the entire planet shows me that I am abundant, I am loved and I am successful.

Margaret ❤

 

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