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A New Era

Well it has been a week of freaky energy. One minute I feel positive and uplifted, the next I am thrown down into the depths again. The energy of the new moon has thrown things up in the air and allowed it all to fall mish mashed all over the place as it lands.

The stress and energy required to keep myself on an even keel throughout the financial and health issues that seem to not be getting anywhere, has taken it’s toll this week. I will not be able to stay in my home. That has become apparent and no matter what I try or how hard I try it will not change this situation.

So now I am faced with the task of deciding which of my possessions are important enough to keep and which can be sold, given away or thrown away. I have tried since December to keep the rent and bills paid by selling my beautiful crystals and books but it is not enough. I cannot sell enough to cover what I need anymore and I have no one left to borrow from.

This puts me in a position that I have never been in before. I have always made do before, always just had enough to get by and always paid my bills. The thought of not being able to keep up with these is upsetting me more and more each week. I have income protection and total permanent disability insurance within my superannuation and have applied for both, but as those who have dealt with insurance companies know, they are quick to take your money but unbelievably slow to give it back when needed.

I had hoped that something would have come through by now, but they are slowly going through my applications and I will find out something soon, sadly not in time to save my home.

I am however taking this as a sign that this home is no longer for us. We have been here for just over 4 years and in that time we have lost our rabbit, our cat, my last car and both our jobs as well as my health. The last two years have been testing to say the least but I am still breathing so cannot complain too much.

This situation has now given us an opportunity to begin again. My son and I have been through a lot in the last two years and now with having to sell almost everything we own we are faced with a complete new beginning. We have decided to move in with my parents for as long as they can handle us 🙂 until we get back on our feet.

We need this time to make some decisions without the possibility of eviction hanging over us. My health cannot improve with all this stress and although there is no cure for rheumatoid arthritis I hope that one day I will be able to live without constant pain.

I actually get excited by the thought of beginning again. Most of our belongings are second hand, full of the energy of those who owned them before and the energy of not being wanted. I had not thought of this before but in buying second hand furniture and other things we are buying items that have been given away or sold because they are of no use anymore. This energy stays with the item and transfers it to the new owners.

Imagine living with the thought that you are not wanted or needed anymore. How would you feel? What sort of energy signature would you give out? Living surrounded by all that negative energy and having it soaking into my and my sons energy fields has been heavy and suffocating. so now we have the opportunity to bring new energy into our lives with, when we can afford it and have somewhere to put it, new furniture and household items.

Because of this reason the things I am selling are being sent to their new owners with love and the hope that they are loved and cherished. They are sent knowing that they were wanted but need to move onto others who will love them as we have. It still makes it very hard to decide what to keep and what to let go of. We will be moving a from a three bedroom house into two bedrooms at my parents home and so must be very careful with what we take.

Only those things that I cannot bear to part with will be staying, the rest will be sent onwards with love and gratitude. Remember when you buy second hand goods to bring them into your life with love, clear and cleanse them of the old energy and welcome them into your life with joy. Everything has energy whether you think so or not so being careful with what you bring into your space will ensure that negative energy is kept to a minimum.

Be aware of how you feel when you buy and sell and allow that energy to dictate whether or not you accept it into your life. Use your feelings rather than the visual look of the items to decide whether or not they are for you. How you feel around something is much more important than what something looks like and always will be.

Here’s to a brand new start, renewed health and optimism and the start of a new era.

Margaret ❤

 

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Towards The Years End

So it seems Christmas is upon us. Such a beautiful time of the year for many but this year like so many others I am struggling. For the first time in my 56 years I am bypassing Christmas. Things have not worked out the way I assumed they would this year. It has been a very tough and challenging year to say the least.

I know there is a lesson in here somewhere, but at the moment I am struggling to see it. For many of us, this year, a universal 9 year has been one of struggle, oppression, pain, anger and endings. To say that many of us are looking forward to a new start next year, is an understatement.

I have let go of so much this year and allowed some to slip from my fingers. I know it is all for the best, but sometimes it is hard to see the blessing amongst it all. Eventually it will all settle down, and as the new universal 1 year brings in fresh energy, we will all rise above our problems and begin to make the changes and alterations needed to make the next 9 year cycle one of love, peace and abundance.

Getting to that beginning though will be a hard journey, even though it is only a few more days, it is going to be the longest time of the year. Surrounded by negative energy and feelings of helplessness only brings it down even further. No matter how many people tell me to have faith and things will work out, they are not the ones wondering how they will pay their rent or what have I got in my house that I can sell to pay the bills. It is hard to see the sunshine when you are among the storm clouds.

Faith is something that I am trying so very hard to have but everyday something else happens that hits me fair and square in the face and lets me know in no uncertain way, that nope not finished with you yet.

I am one of those people who always leave important things to the last minute. My faith allowed me to be able to wait and I had an unwavering knowledge that it would all be okay and it was. This time however there are more lessons to learn and my last minute has come and gone, with no rescue in sight.

The more faith I have the better I feel, and my body responds by feeling better. When I am too stressed however, then the pain comes back in a different part of my body. Currently my middle back. It seems too hard and painful to take a deep breath, so I move about gingerly trying to get it all to relax. The other day it was my arm. I moved something I shouldn’t have and ended up with pain so severe that I almost called an ambulance.

The connection between pain and thoughts and feelings and my energy is very clear. In order to release myself permanently of this pain, I have to release all the negativity and stress that is currently running my life. So stuck between a rock and a hard place, I have no idea which way to go. To release the stress and worry requires money at the least, a job at best.

It’s funny, I am in a group on Facebook all about manifesting. I read the stories of people who miraculously have what they need come to them just in the nick of time and wonder what am I doing wrong, because it doesn’t work for me. Some have money just appear for them on the ground in front of them, some have cheques arrive unexpectedly in the mail. Tried the cheque thing, didn’t work. At least no bills have arrived though. I go for a walk to help my leg heal more and cannot even find five cents on the path.

Maybe I am allergic to money?

The common theme for all those who have manifested their rescue package is the same, have faith and what you need will appear. What if it doesn’t?, and I know it doesn’t for a lot of people. There are people in my area living in their cars because either deep down they only expect to be able to have that or because it is a part of their journey in this lifetime. I have even decided that I must be cursed in some way, or the universe is playing a big joke on me. Let her get so close to succeeding then we will pull the chair out from under her again. That is so much fun….not!

In the end, I do not know how it will happen but I know it will happen. Things will work out, they always do, it’s just taking a little longer this time. All the signs are around me for success and prosperity and abundance, I am just not seeing them clearly or pushing them away.

I know what happens outside of me is caused by what happens within me. All this is teaching me a huge lesson in accepting help. Something which is very hard for me to do. I have always been the one to help, regardless of whether I could afford the time or money to do so. Now I am in the position of having to ask for help and it is very unsettling, a very strange and odd feeling. I am having a hard time accepting it, but until I do then this lesson will not end.

I will make the best of Christmas this year and plan on making next Christmas one to remember. As long as I see my boys and my parents, then Christmas is a success. This year will be one of who is there rather than who got what.

As this year closes out, remember to send out positive energy. There are many of us who need that little boost just to remind us we are loved and needed. There are many all over the world who have absolutely nothing and no way to change that. While I and others may lament our own failures and lack, putting it all into context with the entire planet shows me that I am abundant, I am loved and I am successful.

Margaret ❤

 

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Emerging

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Today I have been itching to do something, wasn’t really sure what, just knew I needed to move and do something. I have been sitting at home for the past few weeks, on holidays but technically I resigned so this is part of my notice. The only thing is I have been so used to working 6 days a week, that I am feeling a bit bored, a bit lonely. Sitting here at the computer or doing a little housework or just fluffing around the house and the local area is beginning to drive me nuts.

When I get bored, I know I need to make changes and so today I went back to a change that I used to do a lot. Moving the furniture around. Looking into each room of my house and seeing everything placed in the same way makes me feel drained. So moving the furniture around injects some new energy and life into the house.

So I got my paper and pencil and started to plan, I always plan and draw a floor plan to make sure things will fit before I do the heavy stuff. Now I have a clear picture of where everything needs to be moved in three rooms. It will take some work but it will be very much worth the effort.

It allows me to look at things that usually are ignored, they sit and collect dust and feel dull and dead. I now get to clean things and make them feel bright and shiny and new and if they don’t, then they go. It’s like moving house without the hassle. I get to declutter some rooms in the house and at the same time raise the vibration and energy within it.

Under normal circumstances I would change three rooms in an afternoon, but due to the current condition of my body that will not happen this time. It may take me a few days this time, but it will be done. By the time I am finished there will be bags for the op shop and bags for the rubbish and recycle bins. My ornaments and crystals will sparkle and shine and emit their energy clearly and lovingly.

As I look around the rooms at all that is in piles, or stuffed into drawers and cupboards, I feel a little down. There is so much holding me back. I had the thought the other day that if I moved into a brand new house and had the choice, what would I take with me. The answer, not surprisingly, was not very much. I am beginning to feel weighed down by the very things that I felt protected me. I felt safe with my “things”.

Now though, I feel them all crushing me, burying me deeper and deeper into a bottomless pit that I may never escape from. I am finally beginning to understand that it’s all just stuff, and stuff is not what I need anymore. I need freedom, the freedom to move without all that excess baggage dragging behind me. The things I thought I may need someday have never been needed, the I might use that’s have never been used.

All they do is collect dust and clutter up the space. I feel like I am suffocating. It’s time to move it all on. So now I will change the furniture, dust and clean, declutter and release. My energy will rise, the vibration of my home will elevate, and what I truly want will have the space to appear.

The act of letting go of possessions is hard. There is always a memory. Nostalgia though, is never a good reason to keep something. Unless it is so important that my life would go into melt down, then it probably needs to go. I have no inclination to spend the rest of my life dusting old memories. Now is the time for me to go out and make new memories, ones that I will cherish for the rest of this lifetime. Emotional memories, not stuff, no more stuff. I am over stuff.

I feel a new era emerging for me, a time where I can go out and make something special happen. To do what I was born to do. It all starts with clearing the stuff and clearing the energy. I shall emerge from the bottomless pit, excited and ready to take on new experiences.

It is time.

 

Margaret ❤

 

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Letting Go To Heal

When you get to a point in your life that every thing seems so hard to let go of, what do you do? I have held so tightly to my pain for the last 12 months that it is like tearing my heart out to release it and let it go.

My pain is like a friend, a best friend. Something I could count on to always be there. It serves a purpose, although not a healthy purpose, a purpose none the least. It enable the victim in me to be in her glee. The poor me to surface at the most appropriate time for maximum benefit. It allowed me to wallow in self pity, and all the while, underneath, it slowly did more and more damage. Damage to my self esteem, damage to my body and damage to my mind.

Today I had the most amazing healing session. It is called Ortho Bionomy, which is a healing process using gentle manipulation and pressure. It incorporated Reiki and Energy Healing. The difference between this healing and the Osteopathic treatments I have had for the last few months is astounding.

I came out feeling much more relaxed and more pain free than I have for such a long time. I could feel when I tensed up and could release it, I let it go as much as is possible for me at this time. I realised that breaking away from this relationship with my pain is for the best. It has held me too tightly for too long. I need to let it go and move on.

The gentleness of the treatment allowed me to clear a little of the madness in my mind. I cannot meditate, I fidget, I get itchy, my mind thinks of everything at once and then some. But, today I stayed still and allowed the energy to calm me and make me feel relaxed and not as anxious as normal. Although anxiousness was the first thing that was felt before the session even started, I think that by the end I felt a little less stressed.

I also managed to say out loud a few things about myself that in other circumstances would never see the light of day. That was eye opening and since my biggest problem apart from pain is my lack of trust, then trusting that speaking those words out loud was something huge for me.

Trust for me is, along with honesty, the most important thing in my life. If I can’t trust then there is nothing, and at the moment I don’t trust my body and this is why my pain is not leaving. It knows I am expecting it and so it arrives.

When I walked in the door I felt at home. It felt good, it felt peaceful it felt soft. As I drove home I realised that this was what was missing in my own home. I rent and so don’t feel attached to where I live. This is another way for me to be able to just run away when I need to or when I want to. I understand now how sterile my house feels. It is not a home it is a house and this also needs to change. I have what I need to make it a home, it is all packed away in cabinets and boxes, waiting for the elusive “when I get my own home” or “when this happens then I’ll” which in my current mindset is always in the future.

Letting go and allowing my body to heal, and to dig deeper into my own thoughts and feelings is something that needs to be done. Now rather than later. By consciously letting go of everything that I have felt and thought up until now, slowly at first, then the trust that I so desperately need will surface. It begins with turning my house into my home. By allowing all the things that bring me joy to actually bring me joy.

As I let go of the old and the pain I allow space for everything I have ever dreamed of to manifest. A new life is coming and the only thing blocking this is me. To heal fully I need to let go and so I start with something easy like my surroundings. Something not so big and scary that will have me running away to find cover. One step at a time, I am becoming me again. Fully trusting myself and allowing life to find me again.

Margaret ❤

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