Tag Archives: Love

Back On Track?

It has been almost a month since I have posted on my blog. The negativity I had been feeling was getting to be quite overwhelming and although writing about it was cathartic, it was far too much to put it out there.

I am still in the same position as I was in April, but I feel much better about my situation. The depths that I fell to during the last month was scary to say the least. Going from being able to support yourself and being healthy and have  goals to being dependent on others just to survive has been an experience that I would have preferred not to have gone through.

As I have come to terms with this new life I have been given, I have discovered a few things that before this I would not have considered. The fear in situations like this is almost paralyzing and makes everything seem so much worse that it could actually be.

Now that I can think more clearly, I can make plans and once again reach for the goals that have eluded me for so long. I know that I do not want to live the rest of my life this way, and so now I can begin again to take the small steps that can put me back on the path that I choose rather than the path that I have allowed to overtake me.

I have consciously been sending love to everyone and anyone that has a part in my new life. Although I did not expect it to have a bearing on the outcome of anything, it actually has. The doors that kept closing on me and the people who told me one thing and then did another became much more easier to work with.

There is still some way to go with my health and my financial situation but I don’t feel that I will have to live in my car in the foreseeable future. I am not sure where I will end up, but I know it is not where I am currently. I am finally taking the road that allows what is right for me to appear as and when it should.

I still intend to sell my belongings, or at least those that are no longer relevant in my life. As I go through the house to see what I have actually accumulated for all these years, one thing becomes clear. There is so much that I do not use, that I do not want, that I do not need. There are boxes that have been packed away for the last almost 5 years in this house and 5 in the one before.

Why do I hold onto all these things? My security up until now has been in possessions, but not anymore. Although there is a lot that I wish to keep because it is useful and because I love it, the rest must now move on to its new home.

I have moved my desk and computer into my bedroom, and spend most of my time there. My son spends most of his time in his room. We have a small electric heater that we use to keep these two rooms warm and that is making things much easier. The house has ducted heating but it is not a viable option when you cannot afford to pay for it. So the small heater makes life a little bit warmer and easier.

By doing this I have discovered that I do not need a lot of possessions or things. I do not need a lot of space. We rarely get visitors so this has not been a problem yet. We are warm and comfortable and that is all we need.

So now my next goal is to manifest in some way the perfect home for us to live in. I have no expectations of what or where, but I do know that it will be perfect for us and it will appear when the time is right.

Until then I will continue to send love out to the universe around me and also to myself. The more I do this the more will be returned to me in many different ways. Each day I intend to improve my situation even if it is just by a little bit. The more good I expect the more good will appear. I have finally decided that the universe knows what it is doing with me and it is time for me to have faith in that.

Margaret ❤

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A New Chapter

Today is day one of my time off. A time for me to rest, and repair the damage I have been doing to my body for far too long. So what am I going to do on these most beautiful days. When I have holidays I normally have a list of things I want to get done, so much so that I am exhausted just reading it. Not this time. This time I am going to rest, I am going to spend the time finding me.

For far too long I had forgotten who I was. What I wanted and where I was going. I was wife, mother, ex wife, daughter, employee but never me. Now as I sit and contemplate my two weeks off, I would like to find me again. I have become the thing I most wanted to avoid when I was younger. I hobble around like an old lady and cannot do anything without pain. It needs to stop, now.

I am going to be a Grandmother. I am so excited to meet this new beautiful little being. I want to be able to do things with this child, things normal grandparents do. I don’t want to sit in pain and watch while others get down on the floor to play. I want to get down on the floor and play, I want to run and play in the garden, I want to be a happy part of this child’s life.

So now as I add grandmother to the list of who I am, more than ever I need to find the real me. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life trying to find time to visit. I want to sort out my work life balance now before it is too late. For too long I have put work first. The bills needed to be paid, the rent needs to be paid and I am it where that is concerned.

Manifesting the real me within this new life dream is not going to be easy. I have guilt to release, I have resentment to release. But I have come to realise that I do deserve more than I have and I am. The resentment I feel towards those that have what I feel I want needs to disappear. I can and will have the life I want. The bills will be paid, the rent will be paid, and there will be time to visit my family and their families. I will become a whole part of my boys lives again instead of someone that they see in between my work.

Guilt and resentment have taken over so much of my life that even releasing them will feel like I am losing a friend. They need to go, the sooner the better. Letting them go and replacing them with a feeling of gratitude and worthiness is where I am going. The inner me that for so long has not been able to express her feelings, her love and how proud she is of her family. This me is buried so very deeply but she is emerging, slowly and timidly, but still coming forward towards the life that for so long has been denied.

As this new chapter of my life begins and the excitement of a new baby builds, I will prepare myself to become the mother I should have been, but was always too scared to be, and the grandmother that I want to be and will be. I may have wasted half a life time but there are lessons to be learned within it all. Those lessons will not go to waste, I will and am becoming me again.

This time running back to the comfort of fear is not an option. This time I will break through the barriers I put up so long ago. This time I will succeed. This time is my time and I will no longer waste it. The more I look within, the more I see what I have been and can now release. The more I look within, the more I know I need the changes and the changes appear much more easily than ever before.

This time I am ready!

Margaret ❤

 

 

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Pure Potential

Potential, the possibility of development, something we all have. Or so you would think. Where does this potential begin? What spurs it into action? What has to line up in order for this potential to turn into action and achievement?

Your potential for anything comes from within. It is what you are born with, it is something that develops as you grow and learn. Something that is always there whether you believe it or not. Can you force it before it is ready? Can you stop it once it starts to gain momentum? Can you hide from it and hope it all goes away?

We are all born with ideas and thoughts and dreams and goals. We work on them while we dream, while we work and while we play. They develop from a small spark into a thunderous avalanche of movement and action. Your passion develops it, your love develops it and each moment of each day that you spend thinking about what you would love to do, it grows just that little bit more. Until finally you are ready to take center stage and bring it full force out into the world, for everyone to see.

Will everyone be as excited as you are? Not likely….. but your excitement is what drives your potential. As it gathers strength and rolls along others begin to see and understand what you have been talking about for so long. They see a small spark of potential in your idea, and so the potential grows even more. Until one day you wake up, and boom your potential has blossomed into a fully fledged reality. Are you proud?, damn right, are you excited?, more than you ever thought you could be.

If you could bottle that magical feeling that comes when you achieve your potential, you would be rich. It would be sold out in moments. Everyone wants and needs to feel that elation of success. It doesn’t have to be a big thing, it just has to be something that you nurtured with love. Something that grew with you, something that made everything worthwhile.

You do understand your potential is unlimited, right? Everyday you can tap into your inner most thoughts and bring forth something into being. Everyday! That magical feeling of success and achievement can be yours everyday. Open yourself up to it, allow it space in your thoughts, allow it space in your heart. Allow it the chance to break through the surface and grow. Allow yourself to accept it, allow yourself to feel it, and allow yourself to understand that this is what life is all about. Not slaving away in a job you dislike, sitting in traffic jams just to get to a place that depresses you. No, life is more than that, life is feeling the beauty of everything around you, life is achieving something beautiful out of seemingly nothing.

Every night when you go to bed, think about what you could potentially do tomorrow. Every morning when you wake think about what you could potentially do today. Then go out and make something happen. Allow that spark of pure potentiality a chance to emerge and grow.

Go on, I dare you….

Margaret ❤

 

 

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The Art Of Choosing.

When I look back over my life and the choices I have made, I wonder what on earth I was thinking at the time. Some have been great choices, some have been bad choices and some have been in the “what the hell, why not” category. Most have led me to where I am now, and although I sometimes complain about things, I do know that I am exactly where I am meant to be.

The lessons I have learned from the choices I have made have been huge. I am independent, mostly, and can tackle most things without worrying if they will turn out or not. But, there are times where I have made choices, and they were good choices, and I didn’t follow through with it all.

Why do we get ourselves to a point where we know what we want, how we want it and sometimes even how to get it and then just let it all slip away? Is it the thrill of the wanting, but the actual getting is not important? Is it fear of the actual getting? Why would we be scared of getting what we hope and dream for?

My hopes and dreams are all written down in lists. Multiple lists. I have lists for everything. They all sit neatly in a pile of exercise books and collect dust. I write them down and get all excited about the possibilities, then put the book away and promptly forget all about it.

I choose to choose but do not choose to reach. I choose to choose but do not choose to try. I choose for the sake of choosing. Then I choose not to proceed. My art of choosing needs serious updating.

So how to get from the choosing to the reaching and succeeding. Do I have to force myself to watch every moment to make sure I am not forgetting my chosen choice? That will only make the choice something that I will end up despising at most or a chore at the least.

For me, at this time in my life, focus is going to be very important. I have always flitted from one thing to another. Always chasing the elusive something that will make everything perfect, and in doing that missing all the important small stuff that goes on around me.

So now I am going to throw out the lists, all of them. They only serve to remind me of the failures and the lost opportunities that I have let slip through my fingers. Then I am going to choose.

Happiness, joy, love and abundance.

That is the only choice I really need to make. When I succeed at allowing these into my life, then anything else will follow naturally. No pushing, no fighting, no chores and no lists required. It’s all there, all I have to do is accept it all. Allow them to enter my life and ask them to stay. Simple.

Life does not need to be a big dramatic series of events. It merely needs to be allowed to flow. It needs to be. When you wake in the morning let your first words to yourself be words of encouragement, words of happiness and words of expectation of all that you can be.

What will you choose today?

Margaret ❤

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The First Day

We have a message for you that you will seem to understand better at this time. When you feel with your heart things have a way of clicking into place.
Your heart is opening, you have felt this, you have known this.
Your heart chakra has opened and with it comes a more compassionate and loving vibration into your life. You are now opening to love, something that you have allowed to slip from your life for too many of your earth years. This longing will increase over the next period of your time, allow the feelings to come up to be felt and to be heard.  Your life is only beginning to open up to that which has always been there but which you have pushed away. Open your heart to your desires and all will be revealed for you.
Go with the emotions and thoughts that you have been feeling for some time now. Allow them full reign and they will expand and grow into something beautiful. Be you, always be you for you can be no other. You are unique in your outlook, in your thoughts, in your dreams and in your goals. There is no other like you, your spark of source has been and always will be a unique expression of truth. Allow this truth to fly high and so shall your new year fly high, with opportunities and choices.
You are on the verge of a new time in your path on this planet, Allow
the vibration and the frequency from your heart to guide you to where and how you will be. Your energy has risen dramatically in the last few months of your old year, you have come to understand that your life is special as are all lives on your planet. One is not better than another they just are and that is truth. Truth that comes from love which is all there is.
Feel guided to take the next steps in your journey through this life time.
It will bring you much joy, much sadness, much love and much pain. All though, is experience and each experience leads us to new territory. Embrace all experiences as without them you cannot understand your place. The bad are there to highlight the good and all have a lesson or potential to increase your knowledge and vibration. You cannot have good without the bad, for then how would you differentiate between the two.
Understand that listening to the lower experiences while riding the joy of the higher experiences teaches you to rise above and grow and learn. This is your path, this is your goal to return to source enlightened by what you have learned from this earthly journey.
Live this next year of this life from your heart, allow it to guide you always in every way and then nothing you do will be of no consequence. Enjoy and love and live this year. Give out what you wish to give and you receive that returned in abundance.
Know that you are loved eternally regardless of your own earthly deeds.
Remember you are a spark of source that wishes to understand itself more and fill this year with deeds that bring joy to you, to those around you and to your planet.
Be well, be happy for you are loved immensely.

 

Margaret ❤

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