Do you ever get to a point where you say, that’s it I’m done! You try and you push yourself, but still it’s never good enough. I keep going and going and going and now I am at this point. I stand still and sigh and my head drops. I’m exhausted, I’m annoyed and at times I am angry, with myself and with everyone around me. Then I pick myself up and take another step and another and just keep going.
This week I did the head drop and the sigh once too often. I decided enough, I need a break. So I’m having a couple of weeks off work. Some time to rest, some time to heal, some time to re evaluate. Time to think about what I really want to do for the rest of my life. Not what everyone thinks I should be doing, but what I want to do.
I have been ignored, avoided, told off and at this stage just want to be left alone for a while. My head needs to clear, my brain needs a break. My wrists and my leg need a rest and time to heal. Enough so that I can function again without pain, without the head drops, without the sighs, without the effort of just one more day, one more hour, one more minute, then I can rest. Rest time is now.
My energy needs pumping up, my vibration needs tuning and my focus needs focusing. It’s time to work on ideas I have, some that I have had for a long time. some that are new, most that I have not had the energy for. Ideas, dreams and plans that keep being pushed back because I have to go to work to pay the bills, because I don’t have the energy for them and some because I have no idea where to start.
So my two weeks will consist of me time, family time, rest time and healing time. I will resume reality with more energy and more focus and a good idea of where I want to be and what I want to do. I do know what I want to do, I have no idea how to make that happen and my poor tired, aching body has no strength and no answers for me. A rest will do me good. Then i can get on with what I want to do and leave the how’s to the universe. Anything that I can dream of will be surpassed by what the universe has in store for me.
I have wasted so much time and so many years trying to figure out the how’s, when all I really need to do is work out the what’s. Then take small steps every day until it all starts to fall into place. Steps I can take when I am rested and healed and whole again. Until then, I will do the planning. I will take these weeks to decide with some sort of focus exactly what I want to do and focus on the outcome instead of the journey.
Live it, breathe it, be it. Most of all, allow it, and not worry about anyone around me who thinks it’s wrong, who thinks it’s dumb. Those people will fall away as I start to focus on my allowing and my receiving of what I want. I will succeed. Even in the state I am in at this moment, I know I can achieve what I want. The more I believe, the more it becomes real.
I will rest. I will heal. I will focus. Until it becomes, I am rested, I am healed, I am focused. And if the Angels of Prosperity are listening, a little trip up north to the sunshine for a couple of days would be awesome, thank you 🙂